Good Day Mate...

Here in Adelaide. Sitting tentatively in front of the Uni's pc. Unbelievable yet TRUE. I'm here away from my comfort zone.

The first few days were tough..emotionally draining. Somehow it is still is but i believe till i mould myself to this new life lots of difficulties and changes will take place. Only HE knows.

Everything are settled- my enrolment...much of what to be done is settled. I am staying with a retired couple. Very nice. Very humble and Super motherly and fatherly. Add on to their family is a guard dog. I have overcome the "dog fear".

I need "expert" advise here. Is it wrong for me a muslim to stay in the same house as a dog? But definitely no physical contact with the dog ...just sniffing..NO licking. HELP please anyone...:)

Hope to blog soon...very soon :)

To you,
The moment you held her hand,
That moment everything gone,
As I need you and I want you for the religion,
But that moment your religion was tested.
You failed.
The truth was prevailed and HE has shown.
The one I need is not you.

Few more hours to go...

Tomorrow..at this time i will be onboard...and alone...alone with HIM.

Everything have been answered..

Those stagnant moments where my subconcious brought back those past memories and underlying questions have been answered today.

Do i feel like a daft? Yesh I do. Really do.

Everything have been answered. Everything was a joke and I am feeling like a daft.

For a moment...that "arrowed in the heart" feeling came settled in.
Painful. Yesh it was. Angry. Yesh I was. Glad. Yesh I was.

I was telling sahabat...i might feel worst if I'm still stucked here in my homeland. Now, I am leaving this country of mine. Resentment stays but possibilities will stay wide open. Insya Allah.

Will i want to cross one path? No. I may want to "grow" in other people's land.

I don't want to hear one anymore. I don't want to see one anymore. I only want to see the possibilities. Insya Allah.

HE Knows best and one day with HIS blessings a possibility will come to break away this resentment. For now, I want to reach my dream for my family betterment.

Sayonara to you. One who came to teach me about being careful. One who instilled this resentment.
But Arigato to one who will break this resentment. Insya Allah.

4 days to the day...

Yeshhh....4 days to the day...the new frontier. I will be leaving on the jet plane to a strange land. Down under, Adelaide. Will be awayfor about 10 months to further educate myself as a Special Educator. Although, 10 months seems short...but i believe lots of changes will be taking place in my life. The future is yet to be told. I believe being alone i will grow..i hope not horizontally...:)

The past days have been farewell after farewell. When you are leaving, then you will see the sincerity of ones friendships. I have been surrounded with warmth sincere love...by those i heart. Truly am. Thank you for the gifts. Thank you for the presences. Thank you for the kind thoughts and well wishes. I believe with the distant...the special beings here will not be forgotten but will be missed. I will terribly missed them..especially during the period i am adapting to life in a new environment with the presence of new beings.

I have been getting cold feet. As it is coming...19th February.

For the past days, been doing lots of thinking...dreaming i could say...dream dream dream...dream for better tomorrows. I hate it when i am dreaming and the past presence of this being keep coming back. I have "fiercely" tell myself that this hope has been buried. But it keep coming back. And I hate it.

Hormones changes are taking place. This facial discrepancy has kept me very worried...to HIM I ask for the healer. When facial discrepancy come "screaming" back I ask myself, " Did I disobey HIM? Did I? I think I did. I forgot HIM at times..".

What Do I want?

I want someones who is deaf but is able to feel and see my heart.
I want someone who is blind but is able to feel and hear my heart.

Deep inside the meeting of new being is anticipated.
But deeper inside resentment has been instilled.