So close to me. Yet, so far.

The Blower's Daughter
by Damien Rice

And so it is
Just like you said it would be
Life goes easy on me
Most of the time
And so it is (he has)
The shorter story
No love, no glory
No hero in her sky

I can't take my eyes off of you...
I can't take my eyes...

And so it is (he has)
Just like you said it should be
We'll both forget the breeze
Most of the time
And so it is (he has)
The colder water
The blower's daughter
The pupil in denial

I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes...

Did I say that I loathe you?
Did I say that I want to
Leave it all behind?

I can't take my mind off of you...
I can't take my mind...
My mind...my mind...
'Til I find somebody new.

Today, I penned as The Confusionist:

Sometimes you heart His being and then detach yourself from her/ his emotional rights to deposit their love back to you. When this happens, is it His move which we called Fate or is it our own Desire, nafsu nafsi ?

Mopiko

Mopiko, anybody?
Whenever, i reach a juncture of predicament, He guides me back to the path that I belong. He resets all possibilities of any probabilities towards the predictability. Today, I'm writing as The Confusionist. It bites, yet, I am glowing as He gives me the strength to avoid this predicament before it manifest. Once bitten twice shy, could there be any antiseptic to cure it ? Mopiko probably.

When you learnt, you get wiser then you get older, what's next then ? For now, i am following the path towards a new chapter of my career. A career that I hope will explore my innate capabilities and others abilities and belief. I'm so ecstatic to venture into the big unknown. I am so immuned to buffering the rough edge. It is not a chaos no more, it's life.

Kun Fa Ya Kun

Allah's leading to the right path whom He wills, does not mean that His will is arbitrary. Allah does not lead those who do not strive to be led. It is not predetermined. We attribute results to Allah, though the actions are ours. This does not mean that all those results were predetermined.
- islamicvoice.com -

Humane Enthusiast

My insistent desire to be a globetrotter.
To trail the humane footpath for my own wisdom.
To be an audacious explorer that does not succumb to human desire.

Me, a humane enthusiast,
vow to render an earnest gesture of goodwill.
Soon it will prevail.
Only with His endorsement, I shall claim this yearning.

Randall...O...Randall

Remembrance: This entry was written about 2 years ago. The child in this story has graduated. About 2 years ago, he only has selected speech and now, he is an eloquent speaker. He is my sunshine.

When I see him. He makes me smile. He drowns my worries. He planted me a kiss on my cheek. He gets cosy with me and gives me a cuddly warmth hug. Those are sincere acts from an innocent child to a lady. We both have mutual liking that grows. A liking that's no need to be tried. As, it grows naturally. No materialistic wants that denies the growing likings that we have.

He is just 4. But he knows the sincerity of my undivided attention that i gave to him. He loves me. I love him to. No sweet words needed for him to woo, just his sincere act and gestures that he will never take back.

He was born in Indonesia. He is a child with mild autism. He was adopted by a chinese couple. He was only diagnosed autistic at the age of 2 years old. Adopted Parents are still in denial. Childrens' Day is coming. I hope he will come as I will don myself to have a snap shot with him.

Today, during assembly while i was looking strictly at my monyetz who were busy chatting with one another, Randall wrapped his arm around my leg. I looked down and I was smitten by his sunshine smile. I bend down and planted a kiss on his forehead. He smiled. Smile that I know comes from his heart. Mutual smile. I was not misinterpreting his smile. "You are my sunshine...My only sunshine..You makes me happy"....ooppss...i forgot the song. He is my Sunshine.

Life was at a stand still for a period. But now, my life is moving on the lighted path with the presence of those that I know will be here for me for a lifetime. They will. Insya Allah. Million muahhsss to each of u...:). I was overwhelmed with my stupidity of reciprocating and accepting unintended actions and gestures. Words that comes and goes away as easy as it comes. No one is to be blame not even the Almighty. It is HIS way of showing...let's learnt from it. Let us learnt from it and be better us. Insya Allah. When one fall down and hurt oneself. It will take awhile to heal the pain. But it will heal. It will leave a scar that will remind you of the fall. A fall that you have to learnt from. Let it be only me fall into this pit. Let it only be me. Setiap kesusahan ada kesenangan. Insya Allah.

The past, 2 years ago. Life trepidation to be remembered for its blessing, and to forget its pangs. A sahabat said that I will soon glee at this trial. I think I did.

Men are from Marikh

Aliens that often bemused me with their ludicrous acts.
Aliens that have the capacity to envelop themselves in emotional odysseys.
Yet had the audacity to retreat when it has reach its intensity.

Aren't they from Marikh?

C.I.N.T.A

Love One Another

Love one another, but make not a bond of love
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup, but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread, but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous,
but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone
though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping;
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together;
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow
By Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet (1883-1931)

Have you ever wondered?

Have you ever wondered?

I've always wondered what happened to those orphans with disabilities. I remembered watching a documentary that featured a couple in US that devote their life taking care of their adopted Special children. Adopting them regardless of their disabilities. Will I have the utmost capacity to nurture them as my own ?

Adopting these Special beings is a sound possibility to some but to many, they may disagree. There are consequences they might say. What consequences ?

The consequence is HOPE.

Who is here for a Reason, Season or a Lifetime?

Total extraction:-
People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you figure out which it is, this is to help you know exactly what to do.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we mus realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; and their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow and learn. They may bring you an experience of a peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it. It is real! But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/ people (any way); and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
Author: Dobhran

His Fair Isn't He
When the past sinks in, it boils this melting heart.
Why is it affecting this poor soul ?
What elicits her serenity ?
Though she claims she believes in Him.

With veracity, she claims her love for Him, The Almighty.
But,
why His other beings that provoke her sanity is reaching the pedestal of bliss ?

Why?
He is fair, he knows why.
His fair. Isn't he?

Humbleness...The Muslim Creed

Humbleness is the opposite of arrogance, and is an attitude and behavior that Allah and His Messenger have commanded us to have. It is also a great tool used to spread Islam to others.

The best way to achieve humbleness in the heart is contained in the Sunnah of the Messenger of Allah , who prescribed many methods to teach his companions how to be humble. We ask Allah to help us all become humble and stay firm on that path.
-www. quraan.com-

To many or You...

You with the intelligence. You, who disregard yourself from mainstream morality and constitute yourself to be elite.

Your intelligence is just a temporary posession, not your own. If you misused your intelligence in a manner that disparage others than you are not a humane individual that He has created. Question the purpose of your intelligence.

Utilize your intelligence for His ummah and dilute your overbearing pride. For those beings with the utmost intelligence and overbearing pride by disparaging others. Realize it before you're being abhor.