HE wants my undivided attention.

Assalammualaykum Wr. Wb. Kt.

The awaiting month is here,
HE is waiting for us to be closed to him,
HE chained our enemies,
for us to attain HIS love.
But we HIS creations, still succumb to the devillish temptations.

Our enemies are chained,
but they are still smiling,
because we HIS creations,
still follow their paths without their lead.
Astagfighullah.

HIS love for me has been displayed in many ways. Allhamdulillah.
HE relinquished my moments of the communion,
NOT because HE loves me less,
but because HE loves me more,
HE wants my undivided attention.

When I have reached the ultimate capacity of loving HIM,
more than I could love HIS creation,
HE will fullfil my silent cry for the other needs.
Needs that will lead me to the lighted path.
Insya Allah.

HE is listening. I know HE does.
HE wants to see my sincerity.
HE wants to see the purity of my heart.
HE wants me to cleanse my heart, mind and soul.
When the cleansing has been done.
I will retain that happiness. Insya Allah.

Allah does not look at your look and body, rather he looks at your heart- Al Tirmidhi

- The day -
Today is the day...the day i thought my smile will bring you happiness.
The day joyous occasion should be celebrated with his blessing.
But my hope is not meant to be fullfilled today.
It may not be today...HE knows.
My absence will not make a difference to today's celebration.
I can only silently wish you for blissful and better days ahead of you.
May you find the happiness you are seeking.
You are a year older today. Allhamdulillah.
A growing man you are.
With hope your love for HIM grows and insya Allah you will see the sincerity.
Insya Allah.

I thought it was HIS calling...but..

This Guarded Heart was unveiled,
Unveiled with thoughts for better tomorrow,
for HIM,
for love,
for family,
& for offsprings.
Assumption is a devillish act of trust.
I've entrusted my heart to the one,
as marital hopes were raised.
Hopes for the day where the communion of two beings
will be compromised and will be made to fulfill HIS sunnah.

Hopes were raised,
with me smiling....
not knowing it was subsiding on his side.

For 5 months,
the thoughts of being someone's legal being escalate.
Escalate to a point of no turning and looking back.
Assumptions were made.
HIS approval was seek.
Significanct signs were shown.
My intuition states it was from HIM.

Now,
The presence of another creation,
has weaken your heart.
Another creation that you have vague impression of,
but has created deep physical attraction.

Now you claimed...
I've tried but it never blossom.
it?
For 5 months ,everything was just an IT to you.

Now you have gone silent.
Silence is Golden.
But Silence hurts.
Silence shows my absence has not...
and will not make any difference.
I am just an old pair of shoes that is better of forgotten.

I've gone through depression,
I've gone through transition.
Transition... to be a better her for HIM.
To love HIM more than I would love anyone else.
To be loved by HIS creation that will love HIM more than me.
HIS creation that will break this fear.
Insya Allah.
It was NOT HIS calling...It was HIS teaching.
Because HE loves me.
I was never alone.

The New Beginning...
The phases of my transition is taking place...
Phase 3- Now. Visual Expression of my love to HIM, The Almighty. My heart which will stay guarded by HIM.
Phase 4- The Embarkation. Embarking on a blissful journey. HIS other plans for me.

The Transition
The new chapter of my life journey starts here,
as I am embarking on a blissful journey,
which HE has planned for me.
HIS plans are coming into place.
I have moved to a new abode and creating a new living attic.
The sacred month is here, i'll focus my attention on HIM.
No distractions. Insya Allah.
Come December, departing to render my service...
and to learnt from it.
Come next year, I will be left alone to nurture my ownself.
To nurture my own needs and wants.
Dear friends, we meet again with HIS permission.
Everybody is here to stay, Insya Allah.
Wassalam.
We meet again. Allhamdulillah.