I thought it was HIS calling...but..

This Guarded Heart was unveiled,
Unveiled with thoughts for better tomorrow,
for HIM,
for love,
for family,
& for offsprings.
Assumption is a devillish act of trust.
I've entrusted my heart to the one,
as marital hopes were raised.
Hopes for the day where the communion of two beings
will be compromised and will be made to fulfill HIS sunnah.

Hopes were raised,
with me smiling....
not knowing it was subsiding on his side.

For 5 months,
the thoughts of being someone's legal being escalate.
Escalate to a point of no turning and looking back.
Assumptions were made.
HIS approval was seek.
Significanct signs were shown.
My intuition states it was from HIM.

Now,
The presence of another creation,
has weaken your heart.
Another creation that you have vague impression of,
but has created deep physical attraction.

Now you claimed...
I've tried but it never blossom.
it?
For 5 months ,everything was just an IT to you.

Now you have gone silent.
Silence is Golden.
But Silence hurts.
Silence shows my absence has not...
and will not make any difference.
I am just an old pair of shoes that is better of forgotten.

I've gone through depression,
I've gone through transition.
Transition... to be a better her for HIM.
To love HIM more than I would love anyone else.
To be loved by HIS creation that will love HIM more than me.
HIS creation that will break this fear.
Insya Allah.
It was NOT HIS calling...It was HIS teaching.
Because HE loves me.
I was never alone.